Rejection, Resilience and the Reality of Becoming a Lawyer

Acknowledge your emotions

Application seasons are time‑intensive and draining. They demand full speed ahead, especially for those juggling full‑time work, childcare or caring responsibilities.

When the email arrives with the words “unfortunately,” “unsuccessful” or “regret to inform,” it often lands at a moment when we have other pressures competing for our attention. That makes it tempting to push past the rejection and carry on without a second thought.

I believe it is important to acknowledge your emotions. The time you need will vary, but the practice matters. It is normal to feel disappointed, frustrated, angry or upset. It makes you human.

Reframing the experience into an affirmation such as “I worked hard and spent a lot of time on this application, so it makes sense that I am feeling disappointed” can help you rationalise your emotions. For me, each rejection is part of my journey to qualify as a barrister. The rejections help me appreciate the successes. They are part of my story.

Reaffirm your motivations

Rejection can shake your motivation, sometimes to breaking point. The journey to qualify is long and demanding, and it is unrealistic to expect it to unfold exactly as planned. My last rejection was a nasty blow. I felt tired and battered by the process.

After allowing myself to feel the disappointment, I began jotting down my reasons for wanting to practise at the Bar. This was not a polished interview answer. I took a notebook and scribbled frantically. When I paused, I remembered that I have the potential and skill set to help vulnerable people in difficult legal situations. I reminded myself that I am a worthy candidate. I am worth the time it takes for someone to read my application. I will train to be a worthy opponent in court. Slowly, I stood back up. Those scribbled pages are a lifeline. Keep them.

Keep your friends close

With like‑minded friends beside you, qualifying as a lawyer becomes a road of laughs, cries and celebrations. My advice is to network horizontally. During my undergraduate degree, I spent too much time eager to speak to panel speakers or special guests and neglected the room full of people in the same position as me. A connection is not only worthwhile if the person has a prestigious title.

The friends I made at those events are the friends I cry with at times of rejection and celebrate with at times of success. They understand the journey, they are facing similar challenges, and they know my potential. Reflect on who in your life can remind you of your worth when you need it most.

Try not to take it personally

This phrase used to make me roll my eyes. My instinctive response was always, “They are rejecting me, so of course it is personal.” When I use this phrase now, I mean two things.

First, the rejection does not change who I am. I am still caring, generous and kind, and the rejection changes none of that. It is easy to slip into self‑talk filled with worry, doubt and inferiority. Those thoughts have no place in the conversation.

Secondly, sometimes there is very little separating applications. The smallest nuance can make all the difference. A recent rejection devastated me because it was unexpected. I knew I had performed well. When I asked for feedback, I accepted that there was an area of deficit. I also reflected that in a different cycle with different candidates, the outcome might have been different.

Your self‑perception needs to be sturdy enough to withstand the long and sometimes brutal journey of training as a lawyer. Be extra kind to yourself when you feel delicate.

Reflect, ask for feedback and adapt

Einstein is often quoted as saying that insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results. Without reflection, feedback and adaptation, this is the trap we fall into with applications, tests and interviews.

Receiving feedback is important, but consider whether you are ready to receive it. If it arrives by email, ask yourself whether now is the right time to open it. If it is delivered by phone, schedule the call when you are prepared. Once you have feedback, adapt. Consider the small steps you can take to tweak applications, gain experience or approach things differently. Sometimes time only allows small changes. Where you have more time, plan backwards. Identify the areas that need improvement and map out the steps you can take to get there.

Conclusion

I hope that you remember three things. You are not alone in being rejected from opportunities. There are strategies you can use to process rejection healthily. And ultimately, you are worthy of the journey, regardless of rejection.